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Blog

Stop Planning Things

Ariel Tobin

Happy Holi!

Happy Holi!

Hello Loves,

I wanted to share with you all an experience that reminded me that rituals, as well as spiritual practice, do not need to be solemn for them to be powerful. As a part of my coven, we have opportunities to priest/ess rituals and go through the whole process of writing it, executing it and then performing it for the coven and congregants. For just about six months at this point, I wanted to be able to perform this year's Ostara ritual and include the Holi Festival of Colors. So as soon as the calendar came out, I claimed the spot as fast as I could and was able to secure the spot. I immediately researched everything I could about Holi, from traditions, to music, to deities and down to if I could use certain materials for the ritual or not.

My initial idea of the ritual

would be to use water balloons filled with dye and congregants wearing white shirts so that we had a souvenir to take home from the ritual. I wanted loud music, sunny weather, great food and lots of fun. This ritual sounded just what we needed, given the specifics of the downright horrid that is happening in America over its policies; I was given the coven and its congregants what we, especially I needed, fun.

So I began my research and writing and then presented it to the elder who would be performing the ritual with me. I had high hopes and big expectations that I had planned this out flawlessly and that the priest (in this situation was a female) would be delighted to hear. Instead, I heard not discouragement but revisions. I initially took these revisions as insults because something that I thought so much about in my head wasn't going to be exactly as I had planned, but decided that "hey, at least she likes the idea and is still willing to do it." So with much discussion, I carried on with the planning.

Instead of the dye or water balloons, we decided to use chalk (which is a bonus because it was the middle of March and safe for the environment) and told congregants to wear clothing that they wouldn't mind getting a bit dirty. I ordered a hand-me-down sari from online and a renaissance dress to match it for ritual, bought the chalk to which the priest and I smashed down to powder for two hours, sprained my wrist a bit, memorized my parts consistently for days, reminded those of their roles and what they were doing, and so much so that when the day came, I thought I had everything prepared.

What the ritual actually consisted of was one person of the four not showing up on time which resulted in me and two other people (one was a part of the ritual, one was not) to help set it up, it was raining and my priest was so sick she could not perform the ritual.

You know that cry when you're so frustrated that you cannot take it? Hello.

"I planned this for months!" I said, trying desperately not to take in the energy of someone freaking out, but was failing to do so. My best friend and covenmate offered support, but the words were not meshing in with me. Another elder thankfully stepped in to take the place of the priest and we talked over the ritual while there were people waiting for ritual to start. We sat there in silence for a long time, with her (another female) reading over the role while I stared out the window, chanting "please stop raining" in my head repeatedly.

"Hey," she said to me, causing me to look at her, "Don't stress over the ritual. Everything will fall into place. Who are the deities we're working with today?"

That one question made it all dawn on me; we were calling in RadhaKrishna, Krishna being the playful God of wisdom, was likely making the jokes not as formal and functional as I had planned them to be. Holi is a holiday of letting lose and releasing stress, of having fun. What was I doing? Trying to control things in which I had no power to do so. Afterwards, I was fine.

The ritual itself was a great success and many people had fun throwing chalk at each other while laughing and dancing. Afterwards, I was congratulated and even shocked a few who found out I wrote the ritual myself.

Often enough, I try to control a lot of things in my life even though I have no control over these situations. The advice I personally got from the ritual is to go with the flow more often and let go.

 

Goal Update:

Write More: 5/5 Oh yes has this goal been accomplished thus far. I know it doesn't show much on here, but when I tell you I've been writing for my monthly crystal class, two rituals and some blog posts for coven related things, I have been writing a lot more than before. Let's hope this continues!

Exercise & Eat Better: 1/5 Kind of but not really gotten back into this. I'm giving myself a fail thus far. The year is still young and I can change this.

Move Into My Own House: 3/5 We've gotten on the same page but I don't think we'll be moving out this year. At least we started!

Graduate College: 5/5 Yep! Knew this one was going to happen though. So thankful it's done.

Own My Power: 2/5 Am currently in the process of working on this, I do believe it will be accomplished.

 

What I'm Into In April:

Books: Spirit Conjuring for Witches: Magical Evocation Simplified by Frater Barrabbas

Crystals: Emerald, Garnet & Carnelian